ACCOUNTABILITY
Part 2
We have many responsibilities to our
children. Feeding, clothing and sheltering them are the basics; however, there
are other important responsibilities that come with parenting. Teaching our
children to behave, how to relate to others, to be considerate and how to make
friends are but a few more of the challenging aspects of being a parent.
What about teaching our kids to be
responsible and accountable for their actions and their words? These are
equally important responsibilities we have to teach our kids.
Teaching children to be accountable for
what they do, say and feel is a gift that will help them throughout their
lives. The “rules” also involve teaching children compassion and tolerance for
others. When a child feels secure because they know and understand the “rules,”
they are more willing and able to accept accountability for themselves.
Teaching our kids what is right and wrong is a big step in teaching them
responsibility. Once they know the “rules,” they are more able to make solid
decisions and understand how they fit into society and how to react or respond
to both joy and challenges.
If a child knows that throwing sand in
another child’s face is wrong, that it hurts and they wouldn't want anyone to
throw sand in their face, they begin to learn compassion for their peers and
other human beings. If a child knows that taking something that does not belong
to him is wrong and how losing a treasured toy would feel, he will be less
inclined to wander off with someone’s favorite action figure.
Once children know and understand the rules
of right and wrong, we can then teach them to be accountable and
responsible for themselves. An especially meaningful lesson is teaching
children to be truthful and honest. This may include teaching them that if they
tell you the truth about any situation, they will not get in trouble. If they
lie, they will most certainly get in trouble. This teaches them that being
honest works, but also that lying isn't going to get them out of trouble or
help them achieve a desired outcome. They are less likely to lie to anyone
else, expecting that by being straight forward, honest and secure in their
truth, they will not encounter resistance. If they do, they are strongly
rooted in their knowledge of right and wrong to stand firm in their beliefs and
remain accountable for their words or deeds.
While we want our children to be secure, we
must also realize and teach them that if they mess up, there will be
consequences. Consequences do not have
to equate to punishment. For example, if your child takes something from
the checkout counter at the market while you are paying for the groceries, an
appropriate consequence would be to bring your child right back into the market
and have him/her give it back to the manager and explain that they took it and
then apologize. This will make a much bigger impact on your child than a swat
and/or an accusation - and they will learn accountability. This is a lesson in
positive consequences for parents as well as a great lesson to teach a child.
They will be much less likely to break laws as they get older knowing that Mom
or Dad will not let them get away with breaking rules and they will understand
respect for authority, which will keep them out of bigger trouble as they grow
up.
Teaching your child by example is an
excellent way to impart a life lesson. For example, if you accuse your child of
taking something valuable that you misplaced and then you find said valuable,
make it a point to tell your child you found it and apologize for wrongly
accusing him/her. Saying I’m sorry” to your
child does not negate your authority.
It will teach them that it’s OK to make mistakes and to apologize when they do.
If we are accountable, our children will learn that accountability is the
“rule” and they will naturally accept that rule. We are teaching our kids how
to behave every moment. They watch and see everything we do.
Yes, being a parent means being a better
person in order to teach our children what it means to be a decent member of
society.
Make it a point to ask for your child’s kids, citizenship and
how she behaves with her peers at every parent teacher conference you attend.
This is equally as important as learning academics in a school environment and
a good, caring teacher will have rules for the classroom that teach children to
behave with respect for their fellow students and hopefully, to be accountable
for themselves.
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