ACCOUNTABILITY
Part 1
For some reason, many children
seem to be growing up thinking that they are not responsible for their actions and that there will be
no consequences for their choices. It could
be the modern media, video games and
cartoons where the main character has nine lives, or even popular Hollywood figures that help them to believe this
lie. No matter who or what it is that seems
to be spreading the idea that there is no
accountability for our choices, it's up to us as parents and teachers to stop it.
As an
adult, you are accountable for your own actions. Whether it's cleaning up your
mess, apologizing for a mistake or taking care of your belongings, it's
important to show that you are accountable. In addition to being accountable
for your actions, it is important to
teach your child to be accountable as well. By starting early, you can
teach your child to take responsibility, so he/she makes better decisions as he/she
becomes older.
Family meetings are a great way
to teach children and teens alike between right and wrong. Sometimes it's hard to come up with
ideas on how to teach children in the most
effective way. Here are some simple ideas
on how to teach your children "the consequences of making a choice."
ü
Give your
child responsibilities. Provide them with things to be accountable,
whether it's taking care of their belongings or certain chores around the
house. Whatever responsibility you give your child, make sure it is age
appropriate. A toddler can be made responsible for putting his toys blocks away
when he is finished playing. A grade-school child can carry his own lunch money
to school or make his bed in the morning.
ü
Establish
rules in your home. Make it clear to your child that not
following your rules will lead to consequences. For example, you can say,
"I will not tolerate any pushing or shoving in this house. It doesn't
matter if your brother started the argument, it still isn't right to hit him.
If you hit him again, you will be punished."
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Follow
through with a consequence if your child doesn't follow your rules. If you
don't enforce your rules, your child won't think he has to be accountable for
his actions. For example, if he continues to receive bad grades on his report
card, do not allow him to go out with his friends until he improves his grades.
Your child will recognize that he can't just do what he wants, and there are
consequences for his actions.
ü Model
good behavior. If you don't hold yourself
accountable for your actions, you can't expect your child to be accountable. When
you make a mistake, apologize and don't blame your mistake on someone else. If
you told your child you would take her to the park on Saturday, don't make
other plans. By leading by example, your child will likely adopt those good
habits.
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