Gratitude is one of the trickiest concepts to teach -- but one of the most important.
Although thankful children are more polite and pleasant to be around, there's
more to it than that. By learning gratitude, children become sensitive to the
feelings of others, develop empathy and other life skills along the way.
Grateful children look outside their one-person universe and understand that
their parents and other people do things for them -- prepare dinner, dole out
hugs, teach, care for them, buy toys, etc. On the flip side, children who
aren't taught to be grateful end up feeling entitled and perpetually
disappointed.
Thanksgiving is a perfect time to teach children about being
thankful. Here are some ideas to teach your children how to appreciate the
blessings in their lives and how to express
it. Try these ideas and see if they work for you. You may be pleasantly
surprised with the results!
Set the Example. Parents
have to model the behavior they hope their children adopt as their own. A
simple, sincere expression of gratitude when your child does something they
were asked to do is always appropriate. Taking an extra moment to thank a sales
clerk at the store or to tip your help at home when bringing something to you
lets them know that gratitude is acceptable and encouraged. Children model their
parents in every way, so make sure you use "please" and "thank
you" when you talk to them. ("Thanks for that hug -- it made me
feel great!").
Work gratitude into
your daily conversation. When you reinforce an idea frequently,
it's more likely to stick. Two old-fashioned, true ideas: Make saying what good
things happened today part of the dinnertime conversation, or make bedtime
prayers part of your nightly routine if this is an important part of your
personal belief.
Make a List. From
time to time, take some time as a family to list the things you are grateful
for. Children might say things like a favorite toy or food, but sometimes they
will express thanks for a family where they feel safe or for a dad's income
that let's them have a few luxuries.
Don't Demand Thanks. Avoid demanding thanks from your
children. They will internalize example much more than they will threats or
humiliation. If you offer it sincerely to them, they will learn the skills of
gratitude.
Teach Through Role
Playing. If you notice a lack of the gratitude attitude, consider a
little role playing. Have children act out a scenario where someone went out of
their way for someone else, and have the receiver express gratitude. You might
even consider a negative example and see how the giver feels when his or her
giving is ignored.
Establish Family
Traditions. Give a "speech" before every holiday dinner, talk about
the blessings you have in your family (even if it's not Thanksgiving). By
having family rituals that center on gratitude, children learn to express
thanks.
Have kids help. It
happens to everyone: You give your child a chore, but it's too agonizing
watching him a) take forever to do it or b) make a huge mess. The temptation is
always to step in and do it yourself. But the more you do for them, the less
they appreciate your efforts. By participating in simple household chores like
feeding the dog or stacking dirty dishes on the counter, kids realize that all
these things take effort.
Find a goodwill
project. That doesn't mean you need to drag your toddler off to a
soup kitchen or shelter every week. Instead, figure out some way he/she can
actively participate in helping someone else, even if it's as simple as making
cupcakes for a sick neighbor. As you're stirring the batter or adding
sprinkles, talk about how you're making them for a special person, and how
happy the recipient will be.
Encourage generosity. Donate
toys and clothes to less fortunate kids! Giving to others inspires children to
go through their own closets and give something special to those in need, as
well.
Insist on thank-you
notes. Parents sometimes make their children write thank-you-s or
make phone calls to thank for gifts or kind gestures. This teaches children not
to take things for granted. .
Practice saying no. Of
course kids ask for toys, video games, and candy -- sometimes on an hourly
basis. It's difficult, if not impossible, to feel grateful when your every whim
is granted. Saying “no” sometimes makes hearing “yes” much sweeter.
Be patient. You
can't expect gratitude to develop overnight -- it requires weeks, months, even
years of reinforcement. But in time, you will be rewarded.
MAY
YOU HAVE A BLESSED THANKSGIVING, AND MAY GRATITUDE CONTINUE TO BE A PART OF THE
HOLIDAY SEASON!
No comments:
Post a Comment